Day 23 - 5K

I arrived in FL yesterday. You know the drill - 3 days in FL with my favorite rep. Joy!

Yesterday during my run, I thought a lot about kids and having a family. Before I get into my thoughts, I must provide details about me and the idea of kids. I have never been a baby person. If I'm out in public, I don't ooh and ahh over strangers' babies that I see. I ooh and ahh over my friends' kids because they are an extension of my friends.

This is who I have always been. Growing up, I had Cabbage Patch dolls but I never played house or nurtured my dolls. They just sat on my shelf looking pretty and clean. I never dreamed of being a mom. I dreamed of working in Corporate America.

Enter Steve. Being with Steve made me realize, "I want a mini Steve." It could be a boy or girl but I want another version of him. I also know Steve would be a great dad. As for me, I'm not sure what kind of mother I would be. The reason I say this is because I don't have the fun-loving, kid-like gene inside of me. Here is what I mean....

As I was running on the beach today, I saw a family with 2 young kids. Probably around ages 5-7. Each of them were out with their metal detectors looking for coins or treasure buried in the sand. The kids were getting into it . They were running all over the place looking for things. The parents were really into it too. I ran by thinking, "That would be so boring. They're not going to find anything. I wouldn't want to do that with my kids."

Then another example would be when Steve and I were driving by Dulles Airport (our International Airport). There was a huge banner that said: Annual Airplane Pull on Saturday at 3 pm. Tickets are $20. I looked over at Steve and said, "What are they going to do? Pull an airplane? Who would pay $20 to watch an airplane being pulled?" Steve responded with, "Kids love it! We would bring our kid to watch it and the kids get to participate too." OH BOY, that sounds really exciting to me. I can't wait.

Then I get worried about prioritizing my time and how my personal schedule is going to take a back seat. For example, my GFs are always running around taking their kids to practice during the weekdays and then to games and multiple birthday parties on the weekends. I listen to their schedules and I think, "OMG, how am I going to do this? That would suck." Although I think it is very important for kids to be in activities and have friends parties to go to. I would want that for my child too. It's just a lifestyle change that is daunting.

I don't play games or watch animated movies. My friends all love kids movies and I don't get into it. I don't have a goofy bone in me. When I see my friends' kids, I have adult conversations with them like, "So what are you learning at school? Let's talk about it." I don't go out and play with them. Steve, loves going out and playing with the kids. My friends kids now ask me when Steve is coming over. They don't ask about me.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. I have plenty of other worries like getting pregnant (when we want to), going through changes in your body, delivering a baby, changes in our marriage.....so many of these things terrify me.